Tag Archives: prayer

Ladies, Back Off – This Scammer, I mean, Hottie – is Mine

 

You know, I could have titled this, “Ladies, Why Are We Keeping This Guy In Circulation??” but decided that perhaps showing you how to prevent from being scammed by online romances, you’d enjoy and even learn more about how this guy operates, by reading my interaction with him, and perhaps, give this man some peace knowing, you’re not making it easy for his (handsome) pictures to be used again.

But first, let me share a few facts about him/this picture that I know so far:

  • These pictures were hacked by the scammer(s).  This interaction is NOT the man in the picture.  Trust me, myself and the 2,000+ women who was contacted with these pictures wish with ALL OUR MIGHT that it was him. Aside from being just beautiful to look at, he is also presented as classy, romantic, and everything a woman could want. (Good listener, rich and ready to travel with you, sending roses, talking with you, etc)
  • He, (The Scammer, which from here until otherwise noted) has approached women on Match.com, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram.  I was approached on Instagram.
  • The pictures have been in circulation since 2012.
  • His aliases include, Malcolm, Evan (on Linkedin), Michael (on Facebook), Chris (Match.com), Jason (on Instagram). My guy’s name was Jason.
  • He gets more clever, for the next victim, every time the current victim ‘corrects’ him on something weird.
  • According to scam sites that detail these pictures, the scammers come from Ghana or Nigeria.
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  • He is never able to do a video chat and his camera never working.
  • Says he’s an avid football fan.
  • He asks you for Amazon gift cards, Itunes, Moneygram, or Western Union to help 1.) save his business, 2.) help his ‘daughter’
  • Says he lives and works in Los Angeles – lol, for those who live in LA, wait until you see the address he gave to his HOUSE..
  • Gave a social security number, which, worry not, I already reported to the police for possible fraud activity.
  • He is always a widow and since 2016, has a 5-year-old – still to this day.
  • He asks you to open a PayPal, Verizon or AT&T account, which has your social security number and bank information, to help him.  He didn’t accept the Paypal account I opened in his name, with the social he gave me. He played dumb, and so was I
  • He worked like clockwork on a schedule, always saying when he was eating, walking his dog, bathing his ‘daughter’, eating steak – he was so good, I was questioning and doubting even myself.
  • Even though you are talking to one scammer, other women are also talking to other scammers, using the same pictures, because, well, if ain’t broke…(hopefully, this blog breaks it)
  • He tries to get the victims off the site he met them as quickly as possible, using either email or a disposable, prepaid phone with either a LA number or Houston number.
  • There is a forum of women, heartbroken or angry, about how they were duped by him (the con-artists)

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Understand, I share this for two reasons – 1.) To make public these pictures so the scammers can finally leave him alone, and 2.) I can come to a full resolve by sharing how easy I was duped while at a vulnerable moment, perhaps saving other women, years from now.

You see, he called me wifey. He wooed me, and, after a few months, we made had wild, passionate online sex. I even sent him nudes (sure,  later he used to extort me. I laughed and offered pictures with better lighting – I was so shaken up and angry. I’ll share more later.) He and I broke up and got back together MANY times. He claimed our love was destined by God.  He even helped me with figures of my business while I was doing taxes, (though I don’t remember him speaking of his taxes at all). But we prayed together. He took me church with him and his daughter.  Funny how I was able to detach for my clients and do the background search for them when I was a matchmaker, but neglected to do it for myself.  The divorce took a toll on me.

He was one of my biggest fans. But when I shared that I was coming out to LA, he questioned me.  I always knew the flags were there, that this was a fantasy, but I yearned for that bond, the intimacy and fantasy he provided me. I was hooked.

But every time I get weak, I read the texts where he blames me for his mental illness recurring; the urging for me to open a Verizon/At&t account and give him the passwords; the narcissistic accusations that I’m not helping his business with my mistrust of him, and not doing as he asked of me.

Our text interaction will perhaps be in the book, entitled, What if F**ks Are All You Have to Give?

 

When You’re All Prayed Out for Finding a Spouse

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Lisa* (name changed), a single woman in her mid- 40s, attends church regularly.  She knows and calls on God being her all.  She attends single’s events and women’s events, gets along well with her co-workers – even known in the office as the “one to ask when you need prayers.”   She’s been on several dates in the past that never worked out but had always prayed for a husband and children that came from her own womb to love and call her own.  She’d been walking the conservative life as a Christian for over 20 years and even though she knows things are in God’s timing, there is a tiny part in her that believes that she has to pray a certain way or learn a certain thing before God gives her the husband she’d been asking for.  All this is done while keeping her distance from being approached for fear of “falling” for the wrong guy or getting involved too quickly. A first time “coffee date” involves an interrogation for why he may not be the one or if he could be one – which she mistakenly and innocently disguises as conversation.

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Peter* (name changed), in his late 40s, has been out with many Christian women and tried many times, without realizing it, to be the guy that could fit each potential woman’s life in case she was “the one.”  He even was engaged a couple of times. He had been telling God repeatedly he was ready for a wife and believed that God answers prayers, but each time he would consider a woman to be even his girlfriend, the woman would usually end it.  He would hear, “You’re too much of a good guy, I guess part of me wants a bit of a bad boy.”  He then believed that the answer, slapping him in the face, was that 1.) he must become a jerk to even get a dating relationship because Christian women want that now, and 2.) God doesn’t answer prayers for a spouse.

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THE NUMBER ONE reason for romantic problems…

Who’s guiding you?

In my business, I come in contact with many people in all walks in life – believers and nonbelievers, and on a grand scale, I try to reach out to all and speak about something everyone wants – unconditional love, acceptance, and to be understood. The most surprising thing is that there are more Christians who truly struggle with the journey of receiving the desires of their heart, especially in regards to finding a spouse.  Many think it has to come in a formula prayer or life-point, while slowly building resentment, or depression and grief, or bitterness and even pride in their hearts towards God and give up on prayers being answered.  Many cry out in deep agony outwardly and internally to God but after months and years they begin to doubt. Pride, at this point, has taken its toll and either the person takes matters into their own hands to make things happen, saying they don’t need God to make things happen in their lives (think Sarah, Abraham’s wife when she was promised a son, and because it was taking too long, took matters into her own hands. A move that still affects today and why there is war in the Middle East) to swinging in the absolute opposite side of the pendulum and subconsciously hide, making it impossible to meet possible candidates (think Moses’ attitude in Exodus 4: 1-24)

I’ve been asked many times what qualifies me in this profession.  How would I know the relationships would last? How would I know the two were meant for each other?

While nothing in this world is guaranteed, there are no apologies for believers yielding humbling themselves to the actual need of the Power, Grace, and Direction of God.  The Proverbs are filled with the importance of wisdom and discernment and even gives important and life-altering information on how to find and keep a spouse.  Many times, it is very easy in the Christian world to intellectualize the need for Jesus’ Power, but our hearts do not believe.

But here is something I want to leave you with: when you are all prayed out, let it go and believe.  The hardest part about prayer is the actually believing that it is being answered.

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And if you don’t know His character perhaps that should be your focus, instead of trying in vain to improve yourself and judge others?

Why would God, who makes no apologies for being vehemently passionate about preserving the sanctity of the marital covenant, why would He be lackadaisical – impasse, even when it comes to ensuring strong marriages are created?  With our vows being committed to HIM, as God being the third cord and glue to bond and hold the marriage, why would He not answer prayers?

“You don’t get because you don’t ask God. When you do ask, you do not receive because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” – James 4:2-3.

This can be applied in all circumstances.

“…Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, you words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me because I was detained there with the king of Persia.” – Gabriel to Daniel, Daniel 10:12-13.

Let go and believe.

Humble yourself and active aligned yourself with your Maker so to be a part of His plan.

Repent of the pride that may be subtly building.  Ask God to search your heart and make clear to you any pride that may have taken root.  Ask others around you (the wise has many advisors) who can be honest with you what is apparent about your persona involving your singleness.  And allow a date to just be a date to be encouraged and to encourage another without qualifying the person as a spouse too soon.

I pray with you.  I pray for you.  Part of the matchmaking with my clients, is being an objective party both candidates can confide in and pray.  The goal of the company is NOT simply to matchmake for the sake of doing it, but to do it right, with setting God as the actually compass in connecting the pair.  Clients, if anything, learn about themselves, past choices and why they made the choices, which serve as a break in the walls that had been built up from repeated heartaches.

I want to hear from you.  Go to the facebook page to stay posted and encouraged. Apply for assistance in finding your love here. 

Love and peace,

S. Arikah Baly-Jensen, founder of Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking

The Right Way and Wrong Way to Chase Him

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True story.

A long time ago, I had a very good friend who found Jesus the same time I did.  We understood heartaches, trauma, and overcoming.  We were like peas in a pod and really didn’t think of looking at each other in any other way but  through a platonic friendship.

But one evening, when we were sitting in his car after a bible group meeting, I remember (vaguely, but I do remember some things), crying about feeling unloved and unattractive to men.  I poured my heart out to him and being the good friend he was, he listened.

Then he said , “Shakira, one day you’re going to find a man and he’s going to be lucky to have you. He’s going to love you and you’ll see you’re worth it!”

Well, and if you didn’t know where I was going with this, I immediately thought he was talking about himself, so suddenly, the “scales fell from my eyes” and I started to like him. A lot.  I mean…… – a lot.  And unfortunately, it was one sided. Yep, I took words from a friend and made them – no, molded and forced them to be something they werent.

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As a matter of fact,  I told everyone in church he was going to marry me and be mine.  I told God (bwahah) that he was husband and to go ahead and make it happen.  I remember calling him in the middle of night one night to say something (important to me, but really drama!) and hearing him say, “Shakira, you’re scaring me. Are you drunk?”

UGHHHH!

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“OH, he WILL marry me one day!”

Ok, lesson learned – friendship forever ruined.  WRONG WAY – FAIL! Bye Felicia! …

A few years later, I went to live on the other coast and attended the singles group.   All the women were very close knit and comfortable and secure with the men to go out on dates, hang out and just be friends.  A new guy came in to the mix and all us women were checking him out.  He was sweet and attractive and fun.  He and I went out on a date which was at the gymnasium he taught at and it consisted of jumping in a pit of foam balls. IT WAS CRAZY FUN!!  But I didn’t really pursue him. In fact, another friend of ours in the group had her eyes on him and in so many words made clear that she was going after him.  I don’t remember her carrying on like I did, but I do remember it just being implied.  I think because we all loved each other, the women rallied around her to encourage it to happen. We prayed over her (and him unbeknownst).  I remember her doing little things for him, giving baked gifts to him.  They went out on a few dates and during that time I moved again.  The next thing I knew there were wedding announcements.  They are still together with two kids and are strong for each other.

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Both of us women are Christians, but I believe her maturity spiritually, socially, and mentally allowed her to not speak about her conquest before getting counsel, prayers, and confirmation.  I simply stated what I wanted and set about to loudly make him love me – which is why I put that picture above. That’s probably how I came across.  My friend, on the other hand, was able to control her emotions enough to not question him, but get to know him and stay in prayer.  Her friends, who she trusted, gave her great advice and served as her sounding board.

Many women over 28 – no, 35… no 43,… ok 50, swing in the pendulum of all or nothing.  Either there are no guys around to consider, (many times meaning there’s a bit of loner-ism to them) or they settle for the worst possible choice.

I even had a client who enjoyed her online dating experience because although she did want to marry one day, she wanted to enjoy herself out on a date.  When she finally did meet the man she would later marry, she made the comments of why they were waiting to exchange nuptials.  She proposed to him! Five years later, they’re still married strong.

Why not get a little bold – with self-control?

Yes, I was humiliated, but the awesome news is we’re all married to our chosen ones, without regrets.  Although the friend and I no longer speak, I’m so incredibly grateful he wasn’t the one.  As my own marriage grows and my husband and I get to know each other each day, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Is there anyone you’ve had your eyes on?

Some have resorted to this .   Click and find out if this works for you.

If you want my services go here to go to the site and let me help you find love today!

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