Category Archives: online Dating

Ladies, Back Off – This Scammer, I mean, Hottie – is Mine

 

You know, I could have titled this, “Ladies, Why Are We Keeping This Guy In Circulation??” but decided that perhaps showing you how to prevent from being scammed by online romances, you’d enjoy and even learn more about how this guy operates, by reading my interaction with him, and perhaps, give this man some peace knowing, you’re not making it easy for his (handsome) pictures to be used again.

But first, let me share a few facts about him/this picture that I know so far:

  • These pictures were hacked by the scammer(s).  This interaction is NOT the man in the picture.  Trust me, myself and the 2,000+ women who was contacted with these pictures wish with ALL OUR MIGHT that it was him. Aside from being just beautiful to look at, he is also presented as classy, romantic, and everything a woman could want. (Good listener, rich and ready to travel with you, sending roses, talking with you, etc)
  • He, (The Scammer, which from here until otherwise noted) has approached women on Match.com, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram.  I was approached on Instagram.
  • The pictures have been in circulation since 2012.
  • His aliases include, Malcolm, Evan (on Linkedin), Michael (on Facebook), Chris (Match.com), Jason (on Instagram). My guy’s name was Jason.
  • He gets more clever, for the next victim, every time the current victim ‘corrects’ him on something weird.
  • According to scam sites that detail these pictures, the scammers come from Ghana or Nigeria.
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  • He is never able to do a video chat and his camera never working.
  • Says he’s an avid football fan.
  • He asks you for Amazon gift cards, Itunes, Moneygram, or Western Union to help 1.) save his business, 2.) help his ‘daughter’
  • Says he lives and works in Los Angeles – lol, for those who live in LA, wait until you see the address he gave to his HOUSE..
  • Gave a social security number, which, worry not, I already reported to the police for possible fraud activity.
  • He is always a widow and since 2016, has a 5-year-old – still to this day.
  • He asks you to open a PayPal, Verizon or AT&T account, which has your social security number and bank information, to help him.  He didn’t accept the Paypal account I opened in his name, with the social he gave me. He played dumb, and so was I
  • He worked like clockwork on a schedule, always saying when he was eating, walking his dog, bathing his ‘daughter’, eating steak – he was so good, I was questioning and doubting even myself.
  • Even though you are talking to one scammer, other women are also talking to other scammers, using the same pictures, because, well, if ain’t broke…(hopefully, this blog breaks it)
  • He tries to get the victims off the site he met them as quickly as possible, using either email or a disposable, prepaid phone with either a LA number or Houston number.
  • There is a forum of women, heartbroken or angry, about how they were duped by him (the con-artists)

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Understand, I share this for two reasons – 1.) To make public these pictures so the scammers can finally leave him alone, and 2.) I can come to a full resolve by sharing how easy I was duped while at a vulnerable moment, perhaps saving other women, years from now.

You see, he called me wifey. He wooed me, and, after a few months, we made had wild, passionate online sex. I even sent him nudes (sure,  later he used to extort me. I laughed and offered pictures with better lighting – I was so shaken up and angry. I’ll share more later.) He and I broke up and got back together MANY times. He claimed our love was destined by God.  He even helped me with figures of my business while I was doing taxes, (though I don’t remember him speaking of his taxes at all). But we prayed together. He took me church with him and his daughter.  Funny how I was able to detach for my clients and do the background search for them when I was a matchmaker, but neglected to do it for myself.  The divorce took a toll on me.

He was one of my biggest fans. But when I shared that I was coming out to LA, he questioned me.  I always knew the flags were there, that this was a fantasy, but I yearned for that bond, the intimacy and fantasy he provided me. I was hooked.

But every time I get weak, I read the texts where he blames me for his mental illness recurring; the urging for me to open a Verizon/At&t account and give him the passwords; the narcissistic accusations that I’m not helping his business with my mistrust of him, and not doing as he asked of me.

Our text interaction will perhaps be in the book, entitled, What if F**ks Are All You Have to Give?

 

The Right Way and Wrong Way to Chase Him

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True story.

A long time ago, I had a very good friend who found Jesus the same time I did.  We understood heartaches, trauma, and overcoming.  We were like peas in a pod and really didn’t think of looking at each other in any other way but  through a platonic friendship.

But one evening, when we were sitting in his car after a bible group meeting, I remember (vaguely, but I do remember some things), crying about feeling unloved and unattractive to men.  I poured my heart out to him and being the good friend he was, he listened.

Then he said , “Shakira, one day you’re going to find a man and he’s going to be lucky to have you. He’s going to love you and you’ll see you’re worth it!”

Well, and if you didn’t know where I was going with this, I immediately thought he was talking about himself, so suddenly, the “scales fell from my eyes” and I started to like him. A lot.  I mean…… – a lot.  And unfortunately, it was one sided. Yep, I took words from a friend and made them – no, molded and forced them to be something they werent.

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As a matter of fact,  I told everyone in church he was going to marry me and be mine.  I told God (bwahah) that he was husband and to go ahead and make it happen.  I remember calling him in the middle of night one night to say something (important to me, but really drama!) and hearing him say, “Shakira, you’re scaring me. Are you drunk?”

UGHHHH!

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“OH, he WILL marry me one day!”

Ok, lesson learned – friendship forever ruined.  WRONG WAY – FAIL! Bye Felicia! …

A few years later, I went to live on the other coast and attended the singles group.   All the women were very close knit and comfortable and secure with the men to go out on dates, hang out and just be friends.  A new guy came in to the mix and all us women were checking him out.  He was sweet and attractive and fun.  He and I went out on a date which was at the gymnasium he taught at and it consisted of jumping in a pit of foam balls. IT WAS CRAZY FUN!!  But I didn’t really pursue him. In fact, another friend of ours in the group had her eyes on him and in so many words made clear that she was going after him.  I don’t remember her carrying on like I did, but I do remember it just being implied.  I think because we all loved each other, the women rallied around her to encourage it to happen. We prayed over her (and him unbeknownst).  I remember her doing little things for him, giving baked gifts to him.  They went out on a few dates and during that time I moved again.  The next thing I knew there were wedding announcements.  They are still together with two kids and are strong for each other.

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Both of us women are Christians, but I believe her maturity spiritually, socially, and mentally allowed her to not speak about her conquest before getting counsel, prayers, and confirmation.  I simply stated what I wanted and set about to loudly make him love me – which is why I put that picture above. That’s probably how I came across.  My friend, on the other hand, was able to control her emotions enough to not question him, but get to know him and stay in prayer.  Her friends, who she trusted, gave her great advice and served as her sounding board.

Many women over 28 – no, 35… no 43,… ok 50, swing in the pendulum of all or nothing.  Either there are no guys around to consider, (many times meaning there’s a bit of loner-ism to them) or they settle for the worst possible choice.

I even had a client who enjoyed her online dating experience because although she did want to marry one day, she wanted to enjoy herself out on a date.  When she finally did meet the man she would later marry, she made the comments of why they were waiting to exchange nuptials.  She proposed to him! Five years later, they’re still married strong.

Why not get a little bold – with self-control?

Yes, I was humiliated, but the awesome news is we’re all married to our chosen ones, without regrets.  Although the friend and I no longer speak, I’m so incredibly grateful he wasn’t the one.  As my own marriage grows and my husband and I get to know each other each day, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Is there anyone you’ve had your eyes on?

Some have resorted to this .   Click and find out if this works for you.

If you want my services go here to go to the site and let me help you find love today!

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Narrowing Your Search (Attracting Your Perfect One)

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Everyone who is pursuing love or, is honestly seeking long-lasting compatible love, it’s very important that they take the time to answer for themselves, questions BEFORE starting a relationship.

Ok, that’s not written in stone, but I can tell you of numerous success stories of those who knew what they wanted for themselves and in their partner when they did take the time to answer some deep questions.  It just saves everyone time.

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Taken from Mohan Kumar’s post http://docmo.hubpages.com/hub/Teaching-and-Assessing-Attitudes

Even companies have a code in which they are built from and what the customer can expect.

There are many attractive, people and some who can charm their way into the lives of unsuspecting love-lorn dreamers, but those same attractive people never make it past acquaintance for those wise ones.

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These are just general questions to consider.  However, it’s VERY important to understand that regardless of your view or lifestyle, how you answer these questions truly do speak volumes in regards to the type of person you attract.

When working with individuals, I ask some of these and more direct individualized questions to properly assist the client.

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  1. What level of commitment are you looking for?
  2. How do you define “being spiritual”?
  3. Do you see yourself as spiritual?
  4. How do you define God?
  5. Do you believe there is a need to have a relationship with a power higher than yourself?
  6. How do you define a committed relationship?

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  1. Do you believe; it’s more important to be ethically sound or morally sound; or both or neither?
  2. What is your personal belief system?
  3. Do you believe your personal beliefs influence the outcome of your romantic relationships?man_in_love_1
  1. What do you believe the role of a husband is or should be?
  2. What do you believe the role of a wife is or should be?
  3. How do you define marriage?
  4. How honest are you, to yourself, in revealing the number of relationships you had being based solely on looks or hook-ups?

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Hopefully this can scratch the surface into your own knowledge of yourself.

In the meantime, as I get over the sniffles, assist clients, and complete the auditions, rehearsals, and shows going on lately, I will be back as quickly as I can to continue this and get you ready to BOLDLY face February with both barrels loaded!

p.s.  My husband and I have awesomely resolved the differences.  Thank you for your comments and support from earlier!

Until later!

S. Arikah Nash Baly-Jensen, Founder, Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking and Two Ships

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Just ask for the help you need…

Go Here:       http://twoheartsforlife.myinstapage.com

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It’s time…

S. Arikah Baly-Jensen, Founder of Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking

http://www.twoheartsoffline.com       Like our Fan page to be a beta-tester for the upcoming dating app, Two Ships, The Mercedes Benz of the Dating Apps   http://www.facebook.com/twoheartsmatchmaking

Is it Really True Love You’re Finding Online? Pt. 2

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I know I’m coming across humorous, however, it really is unfortunate when users of the online dating sites interact with (or just don’t find) matches. The normal result is throwing their hands in the air in disgust and swearing off love – which is NOT in line with what their minds say.  What plays out is a nasty inner turmoil that displays itself as depression, bitterness, sardonic or critical behavior, and isolation from the outside world.

So taking the time to present yourself as the best you, you can be, is vital.

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umm..

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AGAIN...Update your photos; no photos of photos!

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Please note; answering questions in this manner will also reject your application from Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking

Ok, scratch that. Perhaps presenting photos in social gatherings or environments may work best for some people.  Leave the quirky behaviors on the sites that are set apart for specialty dating sites.

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nope..not good enough.

They might be a scammer if:

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It is very important to take the time to know how scammers work on online dating sites.  Actually, this is one of the reasons I added this service to my company despite my own feelings of “internet love.”  I knew anyone who is paying for subscriptions on these sites need to have our Cupid Service to help them cut through the clutter.  We do background checks on all “potentials” and work in a way filter through the unwanted.

There are specific sites to further assist you in spotting matches that will be moot.  Here are just a few tips for you, though to better arm you:

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e789728afc38ee82beb753f0f142613d 1. Many sites are free to join 2.) Background checks are rare (Not so with Two Hearts!)   and 3.) Naive or unaware users

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It’s so important that take note, pass this along to friends who may be using online dating, although the scammers want money, they will go through an unguarded vulnerable heart who desperately wants love. I became wise to this working with one client, who is older.  Her “potentials” are very quick to mention love, or wanting her to get a Yahoo account to 1.) “chat more quickly” 2.) “start doing videos”  and 3.) Their account was closing soon so please privately email them. They would tell my client these things within the first 5 minutes of initial interaction, and the emails would mention things like the following:

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For men they use these pictures to lure them:

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There’s nothing scarier than the picture below for my clients and online dating users.  And this is why we are passionate about our service.

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This may not be new to you.  However the number of scammers with online dating grows rapidly each day.f637df74c79ae7cb9f345ad405c77e8c

And when asked, even though the scammers took their money, what hurt the most was the heart being dashed and the embarrassment, when the victim finds out the amour was fake. I’m seeing this daily and usually have to clean up the mess to rebuild trust again.

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If you need assistance in regards to romantic matchmaking or advice, please contact us at http://www.twoheartsoffline.com and we’ll be happy to serve you. There’s no reason for you, if you are emotionally healthy and your lifestyle is in order to welcome a love, that you should not be with your love.

Happy Dating. Remember to lead your hearts. Or better yet, allow God to usher you to your chosen one. At least the heart will be fully taken care of.  th (11)

Also remember,

Do not arouse or awaken love before it is time.

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And if you haven’t already, men go here to see if your picture is one that is being tagged as a scammer

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Male+Scammers+Photos+Recent&FORM=IRBPRS&crslsl=0

Ladies, go here : http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=female+Scammers+Photos+Recent&go=Submit&qs=n&form=QBIRMH&pq=female+scammers+photos+recent&sc=0-26&sp=-1&sk=

Much Love, Peace, and Respect for you,

S. Arikah Nash Baly-Jensen, Founder of Two Hearts

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More on Finding “True Love” from Online Dating Sites Pt. 1

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***This blog series will contain strong language and images for mature audiences only. The following images are not real clients, or images taken from dating sites, but are used to carry the point. ***

One of the departments Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking has, is an Online Cupid Secretary, which not only leverages time and energy for our clients to find dates more suited for them across the country, but it also helps prevent being scammed by online dating scammers with its background checks and methods saving our clients hundreds of thousands of dollars, broken and dashed dreams of infatuation, and time and energy.

So, we decided to elaborate a bit more on profiles dos and don’ts and how to keep from being scammed yourself.

Some will be a repeat from an earlier blog, but it truly bares repeating if you intend on going the online dating route.

Part 1.  Pictures

Hair –  Don’ts

1.) Please – Try not to cover your face with your hair.  Remember this is for the first impression for someone to consider you as their very own sweetheart.

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As beautiful as it is please resist the urge to cover your face.
As beautiful as it is please resist the urge to cover your face.
Ummm...? Well the good news is she has bills AND coins for toll booths..
Ummm…? Well the good news is she has bills AND coins for toll booths..

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Facial hair

Please look as trim and as presentable as you can be. Remember, not perfection, but the best YOU you can be.

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About HATS

Don’t wear them!  If you are going to wear hats, make sure there are enough pictures to actually see your face. It’s ok to say that you’re a hat guy/girl, just please limit them for your profile pictures – and choose them wisely…

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The last picture can also fit in this category –

Update your pictures!

You may have been a hunk or a prom queen back in the day, in all fairness, if you are already presenting yourself incorrectly, that is misleading.  A person will love you regardless of how you use to look, so join him/her in the present day and make your profile pictures show you in the present day, not going any further back than two years (unless you there are drastic changes in your appearance including weight loss/gain or any noticeable cosmetic surgery.

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Make-up –

Ladies, less IS more and applying it correctly is even greater.

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The Half-naked Shots on dating sites other than hook-up sites

one word – WHY??

What never ceases to amaze me is reviewing profiles that want the serious relationship, yet, the images they choose are those that really say, “All the commitment of a bar, without the hassle of driving home drunk.”

Beloveds, if there are half-naked shots in the profile, “hooking-up/one night stands/and peep show video-ing” are sure to follow. I implore you to please guard your heart from settling for these online dating users – unless you want to end up showing your privates to someone across the country, and there’s no true commitment made. With the selfies craze, unfortunately, the sense of preserving oneself for a true love is becoming more rare. However, it is a quality that other successful users subconsciously look for in choosing a forever mate.

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The above picture is also meant to share how important your background is so, please have your background perfect – and away from mirrors in case the mirror shows a dirty room.

Regarding Fish photos

It’s great, fellas, that you are proud of your catch, however, to put in perspective, many females must scroll through many many pictures of men proudly showing their catch, but here’s the secret – unless the woman is proficient in that activity, (or is worried she may not eat,) posting those pictures are not there for her, they’re there for you – which should not be.  Send those to those who have expressed an interest in fishing. (of course, this is primarily for those men in the south where it is predominant.) Instead, think of creative pictures to post to catch her eye:

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Fellas, this beats your fish trophy pictures hands down..

Cut Photos with other people (namely your ex) in them 

NO…Stop being lazy, take new pictures.

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gone with the wind

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Honestly, there were so many categories this picture could have fit, but it’s a nice segue to the next topic regarding pet pictures…

Regarding pictures with your Pets.

Pet lovers ….. it’s great to show that you have and love your pets, however, if you show that they have a place in your daily life that is … a bit much, you may not attract the type of person you seek, so please simply go easy on the pet pictures on sites that are not specifically for finding pet lovers.

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For in the next blog, I will discuss other photo no-nos And how to avoid being scammed.

Guarding your hearts and wallets,

Shakira Arikah Nash Baly-Jensen, Founder of Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking

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http://www.twoheartsoffline.com

http://www.facebook.com/twoheartsmatchmaking  – (to be a beta-tester for the upcoming dating app Two Ships)

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It’s coming: The Amazingly, Wonderful, Awesome Dating App

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No Fooling.

Ok. by now you know me enough to know that my heart aches for those who make unhealthy choices in relationships and choose the wrong one.  You know that my passion is to have everyone who wishes to be married, be with, FROM THE START, someone who understand SELF-Respect and Respect towards others, namely their romantic other.

Well, now, the preview of the new dating app – with YOU in mind, Two Ships, is ready for you to have the first glimpse.

What makes this different from the rest?

For one thing, I want you to be happy.  I want you to smile. I want you not have your heart broken unexpectedly or be trapped in a relationship that is completely unhealthy.  I also don’t want, for you, to know that anything with my name on it perpetuates (unwanted) one-night stands, or infidelity, off-balanced relationships – where one cares for the other more, especially after sex, or broken hearts.

I want you to be educated. I want you to know, with your eyes wide open, who you are professing your heart to, with the hopes that the other person is professing and meaning, the very same things.

Anyway,

I created this new dating app called, Two Ships, for those who were tired of superficial interactions with phony people and seek to meet quality matches for “chance” meetings. Because this is a time sensitive preview, would you be willing to share this with your group? http://apps.zapporoo.com/view/lmbitas7437hd4ii/

This is the preview to my new app, Two Ships.

This preview will only be open for 29 days. Upon interest,

like my fb page, http://www.facebook.com/twoheartsmatchmaking

Thank you so much!

Love, Peace, and Respect to you!
Arikah Jensen, Founder, Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking

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