Lydia* (* names changed) was ready planning for hers and Trevor’s* new life until she discovered by chance, his marriage wasn’t over, but in fact very much “loving.” When she decided to end it and his wife found out, the barrage of hate calls towards her began from the wife, their friends, and his children, leaving her battling stress, depression, and her personal view towards God.
Am I crazy to think she can be forgiven and find true Peace and then her True Love?
Another story is one where Jake*, a young assertive businessman whose success was rapidly growing at exponential speed. He was accumulating many things and was enjoying the attention he was getting from the company’s bigwigs. One night, after a party at the local upscale restaurant, Jake, having a few too many to drink, lost control of his car and hit a mini-van carrying a mother and her two small children. The impact killed the mother instantly. Jake lives constantly in torment and agony of the accident, and finds it hard to believe the family would ever forgive him, though at times, he’s wanted to contact them. He didn’t believe in God, but questioned that if he were real, why would He allow the mother’s death?
Jake can also be forgiven and receive the Peace he seeks.
Although these are two separate stories, the result of shame, guilt, despair, and unforgiveness still tend to stifle individuals when it comes to bonding in romantic relationships, and only those who connect the two prove to have an amazing track record in finding their true love. Isn’t it true that all anyone wants is to be loved, cherished, and respected; understood and accepted? A client of mine has many affirmations posted on her walls, which calls for the chanter to pull the strength from within, but if a person’s mind is negating the statements, (such as, “You are worth it,”) the mind has nothing solid to draw from, so it disagrees – which tend to lead to the destructive choices people make, made ever so clear in matters of the heart. Where can you draw from?
First off, knowing and understanding that even though you may not believe in God, there is nothing damaging in studying how He is said to describe love, which is actually what we all want:
I say all this to say that even when you mess up, there is someone who claims to love you – right way – and gives you the freedom to choose to love Him back.
And from that Perfect Love of forgiveness, you will begin to feel from your heart that forgiveness, and that other people follow that same way of life, which leads to the open door of being able to love the right way and receive love the right way. This work is what is necessary in building the HEALTHY foundation for a loving, loyal and committed marriage.
You are Worthy to be Loved.
There really is someone out there you were made for.
Allow yourself to accept that Perfect forgiveness, but take the time to admit your mistakes and take responsibility. The circle of influence your actions affect, expand past your immediate field of vision. Accepting the mercy and forgiveness God gives has the power to positively affect into future generations.
Then study the actions of unconditional love, (which is not being a doormat).
The work you do now in planning forever will help you find the one you were made for, instead of wasting time with those who are satisfying emotional and sexual needs, just to end in heartache. Is that what you want?
If you need advice or a friendly ear, please contact us at Two Hearts. We are passionate about making sure that every couple matched is done in a way for a loving lifelong commitment in marriage. Modeled after how Jesus loves, we have witnessed countless success stories, and now, adding daily with our services by matching healthy, stable couples. Beyond that, it’s simply prayer to match the right ones with each other! (That’s the secret)
This blog was much needed and had to be said, so to give those caught in their minds that they are unloveable.
Peace, Love, and Blessings to you!
And Happy Dating/Companion Building!
S. Arikah Baly-Jensen, Founder Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking and Two Ships