Elephant in the Room? (aka, Interracial Dating) Pt. 2

elephant-in-the-room

 

My previous blog left you wondering what happened … with the various scenarios. So far, we’ve discussed having a healthy spiritual relationship. Again, the question is what DO you believe? What are you going to hang onto during the trying times?

Once this is set into place:

           2.) Courage comes easily.  Courage doesn’t have to mean a loud confrontation.  Some of the most impactful displays of courage happens when a simple, yet firm statement is made to loved ones.  There is no room for arguing because you will not allow it. This is not a West Side Story generation – or, one from the 60s and before, where couples had to hide  – in fear for their lives.  (Yes, I know there are special cases.) But this is one where each can quietly have confidence that they are making the right decision for their own lives.

from back in the 60's
from back in the 60’s

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With my mother in-law, we had to share with her firmly, but with love. And when she went against what we requested of her, my husband, without hesitation, told her that because she could not respect his wife, especially in our home, she was no longer welcomed to stay in it.  They still speak and she still tells him to give her love to me and and our daughter. But I think she respected him more just for holding his ground. I already knew he was like this, and times like this only gained my respect for him more.

Although I am often asked if my parents were accepting of his race, they were.  My mother only had a problem with his age – even though I was 37 at the time.

“WHAT? HE’S A DIRTY OLD MAN WHO ONLY WANTS TO CONTROL YOU!”

th (69) 

 

th (97)

th (100) 

 th (71) 

th (92)

 

Often, I hear of white mothers speaking candidly amongst each other:

“I don’t want my child to date a black person. Does that make me racist?”

I say, no need to worry. Whoever your child does decide to date, half of them probably won’t be…

 

But finally, interracial dating isn’t a novelty.  It is one where, again, respect, of self and the other will take you both on a wonderful journey together.

If you are in an interracial relationship and the other person has kept you hidden for sometime, it is safe suggest that there be a cooling off period until maturity and courage has been reached. The little pain felt now pales in comparison after vows and children are involved.

 No, your chosen spouse will proudly stand by you and love YOU.  

             Love your extra weight

             Love your contagious boisterous laugh

             Love your natural hair, even help you maintain it.

             Love your fair skin that easily burn in the sun

             Love your cooking that is filled with curry.

             Love your freckles and red hair

             Love your thin nose; your big nose; your tiny nose

And will gladly stand beside you in this life and will look for you in the next.

Stay strong, keep your inner eye and ear open, and keep smiling!

 

Next blog – He lived as an active homo-sexual and now is happily married to the woman of his dreams.  Is he for real? As I am inexperienced in these matters, the nature of the next story is one which deals to today’s issues. With respect to each reader, this will be his story to openly share. Hope to hear from you.  Please share with friends!

 

Love, Peace, and Respect to you,

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Shakira “Arikah Nash” Baly-Jensen, Founder, Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking

 www.twoheartsoffline.com

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