This poses as a friendly service for all you who truly do put all your dating eggs in the online basket because of your monthly subscriptions and the promise that you will meet the love of your life…PLEASE keep the proper perspective on this method, it is only ONE way to meet decent available singles. (for those who are married and are using these sites, and think it’s noble to mention that tidbit of information upfront in your pursuit to just ‘give you a chance,’ – well, you deserve everything coming to you.)
But for those who are sincerely seeking to meet quality matches – beyond what the site generated for you, please follow these simple steps to at least ENJOY the exhaustive process:
Your Profile Picture:
- Now, Fellas: taking into account that some features we were born with are just that way, but is it too hard to at least try to look as though you realize this picture is your first impression? I understand the mindset, “well, she’ll have to love me for me,” but combing your hair, wiping the sleep the out of your eyes, and SMILING, can go so much further in catching the eye of your potential matches.
- Ladies: If you want to attract the men of substance, please take care of the pictures you’re putting out there:
The Profile Content:
- Speaking of ‘PMS,’ if my potential offline clients decide to continue their online dating subscriptions, before taking them over to our online department, I usually like to read what they have posted, if any (because many do not even fill out their profile portion), before revision. Here is a sample of why (this gentlemen is not our client unfortunately, but Oh, how our services can help him! <insert misspelled words and poor grammar here>)
“Give my Tires a Kick: you women over 40, you say you want a great guy, but you don’t seem to know if you’ve lived over 40 you have wounds and you go on and on and blah, blah, blah, always talking about your problems, well us guys have problems,too and you want a guy with money, well I’ve been on this site for awhile and many of you are still on here, so you don’t know what you want, so all I’m saying is give me a try….”
I wish I could say this was made up, but unfortunately it’s not.
When completing your profile, if you are not good at doing it, ask someone who likes writing and can showcase you as your best you – not perfection, but your human-ness. That realness is what people want.
The following will not get you anywhere:
“No psychos, druggies, addicts or drama queens. Looking for the one.’
Let’s talk more about that last sentence: “Looking for THE ONE.”
Friends, I encourage you to delete that line from your profile if you have it. Why? Well, of course you’re looking for the one – that goes without saying that almost everyone of the millions who resort to online is looking for “the one.”
However, that doesn’t have to mean that you miss out on great people. People who clearly have interests that vary from yours, but that each of you can grow to respect. Like I told my husband, when he shared with me (before we dated), that his niece signed him up on a popular dating site, and he mentioned his anxiety over it, ” For crying out loud, Bob, it’s coffee! You’re not marrying the person!”
Although my company also caters to those who have online subscriptions, I personally become biased against it when I see perfectly wonderful people – friends included, suffer anxiety, being overwhelmed with the sifting through, and even depression from rejection from these sites. It’s so important to have a healthy mindset about online dating – it serves as a way to meet people. Maybe for coffee, perhaps a show, but not with the pressure that either that one date is the one or no one dates you!
I encourage you to recognize the emotions within that online dating is posing for you and re-evaluate what that may look like when you are ‘winking,’ ‘flirting,’ ’emailing,’ and posting your profile.
Some of the best success stories from online dating, that result in marriage, took time to set aside to connect and or search, to actually set time for a date (with no expectations other than having fun), and going to the next date (as in multiple dates with other candidates) and all deciding which of the dates stood out as one where the person could see forever with the person. And, just keeping it extremely real friends, that usually is decided when sex is not in the mix. Unfortunately, after sex, at least for women, it clouds fair and mature judgement. So unless you are on hook-up sites, please refrain from having sex with the candidates.
Again, if you need assistance please ask someone, or you can contact us and we can either give you tips, advice, or completely alleviate the pressure of the online dating experience, by using either our offline service or our discreet Cupid Secretary service. As our goal is to help rid the pressure of the searching, your job is to enjoy the journey fully.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phMpTMJ7wJ0 Watch the video and see more ‘dating woes’!
Shakira “Arikah” Baly-Jensen, Founder, Two Hearts Offline Matchmaking
Want to be one of the first to try the upcoming dating app, Two Ships? Like us on Facebook; http://www.facebook.com/twoheartsmatchmaking